16 Comments
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Alison's avatar

This was a really fun story! I liked the interiority of all the characters, even the really minor ones. I liked that Jack was just sort of inert at the beginning of this tale — I know a lot of people like that. And that revelation where he realizes that all his girlfriends outgrow him! I would hate to have him as my real life landlord, but it's interesting to spend a little time with a guy like that in a story.

The narrative style and structure are both really fun. Reading this gave me the same vicarious pleasure as going through r/AmITheAsshole stories, where you're sort of invited to judge the protagonist but also you're rooting for him to be okay anyway. Thank you for writing and sharing!

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Jannah Ferguson's avatar

This was fun. At first I was going Jack would choose Cynthia, maybe because I'm kind of a Cynthia, responsible, has her shit together, that kind of thing. And then I thought Mona would steal all the $ from the safe and this would be a tragedy or something.

So the end, where Jack realizes that Mona is really a lot like Cynthia and is going to eventually outgrow him, and just decides this is the point where he's going to try and does it. And somewhere Cynthia is probably wondering, why then, why not me? But Jack really has no idea.

I hope you keep writing things like this. I do like getting a whole entire story in a condensed package.

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Lucy M's avatar

This is so good!!! I don't have anything insightful to say about it. But it really came together, and the ending surprised me! 10/10, saved to read again.

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AG's avatar
Dec 2Edited

This piece really captures something which I think is rarely articulated, because those who know typically just can’t be bothered to explain. There’s basically only two key components to being talented at anything, unlearnable because speed is of the essence, such that if you have to think you’ve already lost: the ability to instantly get to the core of any situation, and the immediate awareness of new options as they appear. If you see the paths and know how to traverse them, and can take them before anyone else, then anything that is possible is attainable. That’s sort of how I feel about systems, and that’s how it is for Jack with people. And this novella captures the pride that can come with this golden gift, this expectation that you should be talented at everything else as well, which means you just cannot bring yourself to muddle along with anything you are bad at, no matter how important it is. It’s the Catcher in the Rye feeling which I thought only angry young male novelists were capable of writing, where you feel simultaneously like a loser and a god, entitled with both privilege and discontent.

There’s probably a lot of overlap here with the phenomena of people who just do not want to work. I’m not referring to those that have daddy’s money and/or poor impulse control, but the cases where this trait is combined with high conscientiousness and a long-term outlook: people who somehow have the ability to make it work without working, and along the way develop a fixation that anything else is failure, a surrender to something like capitalism, or society, or entropy (depending on their politics). These people are usually very interesting! It’s one of the few cases where I wish I had more money, which might open my options for arrangements like this. Unfortunately I can only support myself, without the leverage of Jack’s gifts in persuasion to reach for more, or I suppose even to make it work if I could.

Also, I want to point out that this novella is hilariously also a pretty good argument for the housing theory of everything being the cause of the lack of millennial/Z marriage and the fertility crisis.

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kora 🌊's avatar

here from the new yorker. this was a joy to read

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Vivian Yoon's avatar

Loved it! Tonally it felt a bit like a more modern/contemporary George Saunders story (in the best way). More hopeful, too, which felt subsersive in its own way. Thank you for sharing this!

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Ardy's avatar

I read the first 3 chapters and couldn't go on. The pathetic nature of the people involved held no inner depth, they were just lost dross that the wind normally and correctly just blows away.

So many self focused and greedy people in it, it is almost like a dystopian pointer to the end of Western civilisation.

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Anne Simpson's avatar

I really enjoyed this short story. It was perfect for a rainy afternoon where I could get really absorbed in the story, start to finish, and then get on with my day!

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Andy's avatar

Wow, this was really resonant read. I see an uncomfortable amount of my past self in Jack, I too didn't really grow up until my 30s. The story structure was delightful as well, I have always loved the floating narrator construct that third person writing gets to play with.

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Mercenary Pen's avatar

This was a fantastic story. The characters were people I already knew in my life, and the situation believable because I’ve seen similar things happen. For some reason it reminded me of F Scott Fitzgerald.

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Virginia Postrel's avatar

I reread this after your post about the New Yorker review (congratulations!). Now I'd like to see one about Alvaro.

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Peggy Coquet (she/her)'s avatar

Good characters, believable and relatable. And a good plot, as well. The sparseness of the story's landscape allows the reader to fill in the details as they wish -or not. Thanks!

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Isaiah Antares's avatar

I liked it. I didn't much like Jack, but that just means you wrote the character well (I hated Billy Brown in Buffalo 66, but liked the movie).

I read this in one sitting, so you succeeded at the first rule of writing: don't bore the reader.

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Christian_Z_R's avatar

A real interesting read. I will have to try to find my kindle again, so I can try to read some of your other books ( I hid my kindle from myself in an attempt to force myself to read more classical literature from the library).

About the style, it really reminds me of Milan Kundera. I also think he said some of the same things as you have written about the modern way of using descriptions of the environment as a metaphor in his book 'The Betrayed Testaments'. It also reminds me of his style in the way it help bridge the gap to people living in a place that is in reality very foreign to me (21st century San Fransisco, or 20th century central European refugees in Paris).

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Calum Richards's avatar

Really enjoyed the story, Naomi. Thanks for writing, I want to read lots more like this!

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Abra McAndrew's avatar

This is fun. I have to go to my job because I’m ordinary, but I’ll be back to finish it later.

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