I frequently get a terrifying urge to talk about my bowel movements.

[Don't worry, in this post I will suppress that urge, as I so often have]

I once knew a girl who claimed that she had a ranked list of the best kisses she'd ever had. I'm still not sure whether she was joking (she was not inexperienced or anything), though she was the kind of person who would do something like that. I am the same way, I have a ranked lis…